Q. Why were men given larger brains than dogs? A. So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
What's the quickest way to lose 190 pounds of ugly fat? Divorce him.
Men are like.....Lawn Mowers. If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.
Men come in three sizes: Small, medium, and OOoohhh yesss!
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? ONE......He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
I can honestly say in all our years of friendship, I have never heard anyone question John’s intelligence, to be perfectly honest I never heard anyone even mention any intelligence on John’s part.
How do you know if a man is lying? His lips are moving!
Men are like buses. They have spare tires and smell funny.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Dogs are man's best friend. So which is the dumber sex?
A man walks into a bar and says "Ow!" A second man walks into the same bar. You would think after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it coming.