Ladies and Gentlemen, if there is anybody here who is feeling, worried, nervous or apprehensive it is probably because you just married John.
What's the difference between an intelligent man and a UFO? I don't know, I've never seen either one.
I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay? A. They don't have time.
How do men define a "50/50" relationship? We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.
How can you tell soap operas are fictional? In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.
Why do men buy electric lawn mowers? So they can find their way back to the house.
What do you call a woman that works like a man?? Lazy.
Men and women were created equal but women continued to improve.
A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of? Dating children.