How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male? All he's concerned with is legs, breasts, and thighs.
Q: Why are there only snow men and not snow women? A: Because only men are dumb enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
A classic Tommy Cooper gag "I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays", was fifth.
(A) You are not Tom Cruise, (B) The guns may stop working at the last moment, (C) The Enemy is 1000 times intelligent than you, (D) Your family might not like the amount of compensation on your behalf (E) Just remember, "the safest way to win over your enemies is by making them your friends!"