The best jokes about men

"I can't wait for Father's Day" said no man ever.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What would it be a good idea for you to do after a man takes your wife? A: Let him keep her!
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More jokes about: wife, men, mean
A man left for work one Friday afternoon. Instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spending all his wages. When he finally got home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his very angry wife. After two hours, she stopped nagging and said, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?" He replied, "That would be fine with me." Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. Thursday, the swelling went down just enough for him to see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
Vote: has 78.73 % from 108 votes. Send joke:

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"Lisa, why are you so angry with me?" "Because I'm Christine."
Vote: has 78.03 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why did God create Adam before he created eve? A: Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.
Vote: has 77.74 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

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A boyfriend asks his girlfriend: "What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?" "Well, I don't know" she answers shyly. "OK, that I give you another year to think about it…"
Vote: has 77.74 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, relationship, Valentines day, time
Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. So if you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
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A man goes to his doctor and says, “I don’t think my wife’s hearing isn’t as good as it used to be. What should I do?” The doctor replies, “Try this test to find out for sure. When your wife is in the kitchen doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a question, if she doesn’t respond keep moving closer asking the question until she hears you.” The man goes home and sees his wife preparing dinner. He stands fifteen feet behind her and says, “What’s for dinner, honey? He gets no response, so he moves to ten feet behind her and asks again. Still no response, so he moves to five feet. Still, no answer. Finally he stands directly behind her and says, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” She replies, “For the fourth time, I SAID CHICKEN!”
Vote: has 77.64 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, doctor, wife, food
Two friends meet each other on the street.”Hello! Where are you coming from?” asked Bill.” Oh, don’t ask me! I’m coming from the cemetery. I just buried my mother-in-law” replied Sid. ”I’m so sorry!” said Bill, “But why is your face scratched all over?”. ”It wasn’t so easy!” said Sid, “She put on a hell of a fight!”
Vote: has 77.57 % from 123 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, death
Boy: "Hey baby, what's your sign?" Girl: "Do Not Enter!"
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: flirt, mean, women, men