Chuck Norris once joined the Army. That's how the motto, "An Army of One" was created.
A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave." The cadet replied, "Not me, Sarge...no sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I'd never stand in another line!"
Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days. “Why, my outfit was so well drilled,” declared one, “that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click.” “Very good,” conceded the other, “but when my company presented arms you’d just hear slap, slap, jingle.” “What was the jingle?” asked the first. “Oh,” replied the other offhand, “just our medals.”
Q: What's brown and in the military? A: Gomer's pile.
Q: What do you call a roman warrior after oral sex? A: Gladiator.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
What happened when the soldier went into an enemy bar? He got bombed.
Iran reveals a plan to test its first Chuck Norris within a week.
Before Chuck Norris can register as a soldier, all wars suddenly end.
Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole? A: Bestiality