The best military jokes

While my six-year-old daughter of the space age and I were reviewing some old photographs, we came across a picture of me when I was a captain in the Army Reserves. “Daddy, were you in a war?” “Yes,” I fibbed, just to see what her reaction would be. Wide-eyed, she gasped, “Against what planet?”
Vote:
has 50.88 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: age, dad, military
There is a Navy guy and a Marine in the washroom. The Marine goes to leave without washing up. The sailor catches up with him later and says, "In the Navy, they teach us to wash our hands." The Marine replies, "In the Marines, they teach us not to pee on ours!"
Vote:
has 50.88 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: dirty, military, navy
Did you hear about the gay French General? He blew Napoleon's Bonaparte!
Vote:
has 50.61 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: military
What happened when the soldier went into an enemy bar? He got bombed.
Vote:
has 50.22 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: bar, military
In an official mandate, 'Walker, Texas Ranger' DVD discs have been ordered to replace the armor plating in all bulletproof vests.
Vote:
has 50.22 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, military
Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days. “Why, my outfit was so well drilled,” declared one, “that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click.” “Very good,” conceded the other, “but when my company presented arms you’d just hear slap, slap, jingle.” “What was the jingle?” asked the first. “Oh,” replied the other offhand, “just our medals.”
Vote:
has 49.79 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: military
Q: Did you hear that Saddam Hussein won the toss ? A: He elected to receive.
Vote:
has 49.79 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: military
One of my friends returned from Afghanistan and I asked him if he is going to the party tomorrow. He said he can't walk.
Vote:
has 49.65 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health, military, party, war
Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole? A: Bestiality
Vote:
has 48.78 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, military
What do you call 35,000 men with their hands up? "Iraqi Army."
Vote:
has 47.36 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: military
<<<14151617
More jokes →
Page 14 of 19.