Why use Linux: No Windows, no Gates, no Bill to pay.
An airman finds a barber shop near the base and goes inside for a haircut.
After getting a nice, short flat-top, the airman asks how much he should pay.
"No charge, son" replies the barber, "Your dedication and sacrifice in the service of our nation is payment enough."
The next day, as he opens shop, the barber finds a squadron T-shirt and a thank-you note left by his customer.
Later that day, a staff sergeant comes in, asking the barber to take a little bit off the sides.
When the haircut was complete and the NCO reaches for his wallet, the barber again says: "No charge, sergeant. Your dedication and sacrifice in the service of our nation is payment enough."
The next day, as he opens shop, he is pleased to find an Air Force hat and a squadron coin by the door, with a thank-you note.
Later that day, a colonel comes in, asking if the barber can do something to cover his bald spot.
The barber obliges, and when it comes time to pay, he again says: "No charge, sir. Your dedication and sacrifice in the service of our nation is payment enough."
The barber comes to work the next day and finds on his doorstep... three more Air Force colonels.
‘The United States has developed a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing.
It’s called the stock market.’
Jay Leno
An old couple is at a fair an the old man sees a helicopter ride for $50.
The old man asks his wife, "I don't have much time left. Can I take I ride in one of them helicopters?"
His wife responds, "Oh well that's way too expensive."
The man running the helicopter rides as a pilot hears their conversation and makes them a deal.
"Hey, I'll take you on a ride for free, but you can't make one sound. If you do, then you have to pay $50." says the pilot.
The couple climbs in the helicopter.
The pilot takes off and does awesome tricks with the helicopter.
The couple never made a sound.
The pilot lands the helicopter and says, "Wow, impressive, usually people make so much noise on these rides."
The old man says, "Well, I almost made a noise when my wife fell out of the helicopter, but these rides are too expensive."
Vote:
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?"
She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes.
Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?"
He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
A woman goes into a store to buy a fishing rod and reel.
She doesn’t know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register.
There is a store employee standing there with dark shades on.
She says, "Excuse me sir... can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"
He says , "Ma’am I’m blind but if you drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes."
She didn’t believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway.
He said "That’s a 6′ graphite rod with Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line... It’s a good all around rod and reel and it’s $20.00."
She says, "That’s amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it’s what I’m looking for so I’ll take it."
He walks behind the counter to the register.
And in the meantime the woman farts.
At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her... being blind he wouldn’t know that she was the only person around.
He rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50."
She says, "But didn’t you say it was $20.00?"
He says, "Yes ma’am, the rod and reel is $20.00, the duck call is $3.00, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50!"
Vote:
A wife tells her husband while watching a Mexican TV series:
"Look, how much he loves her…"
"Yes. But do you know how much he's being paid for that?"
My wife said to me: "If you won the lottery, would you still love me?"
I said: "Of course I would. I'd miss you, but I'd still love you."
When the office printer color started to look a little off the manager called the local repair shop.
To the manager's surprise, the clerk said that it would cost $50 but that he might try reading the manual and doing it himself.
The manager replied in astonishment, does your boss know that you discourage business that way?
"Yes", replied the clerk.
It was his idea.
We make more on repairs than cleaning printers if the owner tries to do it himself first.
Vote:
Q: What do you call money that grows on trees?
A: Marijuana