Why don't cows ever have any money? Because the farmers milk them dry.
What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day? A forty-carrot wedding ring.
Chuck Norris doesn't have an ATM PIN – the machine just spits out cash – at every bank!
Did you hear about the man who received a tip on a horse called Cigarette? He didn't have enough money tabaccer!
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. He only brought enough money for one beer though. As hes drinking his beer, which was quite expensive, he realizes how bad he has to go to the bathroom. Not wanting anyone to drink his expensive beer, he takes out a 3x5 note card and writes on it, "I SPIT IN THIS BEER", and walks to the bathroom. When he comes back about 15 minutes later, theres another 3x5 note card next to his beer saying, "I SPIT IN IT TOO".
Chuck Norris can pick "side" when flipping a coin.
Q: What do you call a group financial controller who's lost his job? A: Bob.
Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat? A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Yo' Mama is so poor, she only goes to the grocery store for free samples.