The best money jokes

A man is in Vegas where he lost all of his money so he can't pay for a cab to return to the airport. He sees a cab and begs the driver to give him a free ride to the airport but the cab driver declines. The next year the man returns to Vegas and get filthy rich when he decides to leave for the airport. There is a huge line of cabs, and at the very end of this line was the very driver who never gave him a ride the previous year. The man walks up to the front cab "Excuse me, sir if you give me a free ride to the airport I'll let you give me a handjob." The driver declines immediately. The man then asks all the drivers in this line the same thing. When he gets to the last driver, he pays the fee and the cab driver begins moving, when he moved by the line, the man puts two thumbs up through the window so all the other drivers could see.
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has 66.68 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: dirty, driving, mean, money, time
Why don't black people pay rent? Because jail is free.
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has 66.67 % from 581 votes. More jokes about: black people, money, prison, racist
A man went to visit his doctor. “Doc, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please?” the man pleads. The doctor rolls up the man’s sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk. “Hello, Doctor, says the arm. “Could you lend me twenty bucks please? I’m desperate!” “Aha!" says the doctor, "I see the problem. Your arm is broke!”
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, money
Four Laws of Accounting: 1. Trial balances don't. 2. Bank reconciliations never do. 3. Working capital does not. 4. Return on investments never will.
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, work
After my wife and her former best buddy, another Air Force wife, were separated by a move that posted one husband on the opposite coast, the telephone became their chief means of communication. When our phone bills showed astronomical increases, the other spouse and I sought relief. Since we both owned computers, we encourage our wives to use electronic mail. Now they call on the phone to let each other know that e-mail was sent, then call back to confirm that it arrived and have a conversation about the contents.
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has 66.49 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: air force, computer, money, phone, wife
A teller at our credit union was assisting a member with a loan application. "Do you have references?" she asked. The member replied, "Do they have to be living?"
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: life, money
Yo Momma is so poor when her friend came over to use the bathroom she said ok, choose a corner.
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has 66.44 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: insulting, money, Yo mama
A one dollar bill met a twenty dollar bill and said, "Hey, where’ve you been? I haven’t seen you around here much." The twenty answered, "I’ve been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the United States for awhile, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?" The one dollar bill said, "You know, same old stuff… church, church, church." essories for it.
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has 66.16 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: church, game, money, travel
Q: How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman? AA By his net income.
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has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: christian, money, tax
Q: Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet? A: They never want to log off.
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has 65.94 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: animal, internet, money
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