The best money jokes

Yo mama so poor, when I ring the door bell, she yells: DING DONG!
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, money, insulting
Yo' Mama is so poor, she eats cereal with a fork to save milk.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, money, insulting
An FBI agent was interviewing a bank teller after the bank had been robbed 3 times by the same bandit: "Did you notice anything special about the man?" asks the agent. "Yes," replied the teller. "He was better dressed each time."
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, cop
Saul is working in his store when he hears a booming voice from above: "Saul, sell your business." He ignores it. It goes on for days. "Saul, sell your business for $3 million." After weeks of this, he relents, sells his store. The voice says ‘Saul, go to Las Vegas." He asks why. "Saul, take the $3 million to Las Vegas." He obeys, goes to a casino. Voice says, "Saul , go to the blackjack table and put it down all on one hand." He hesitates but knows he must. He’s dealt an 18. The dealer has a six showing. "Saul, take a card." What? The dealer has -- "Take a card!" He tells the dealer to hit him. Saul gets an ace. Nineteen. He breathes easy. "Saul, take another card." What? "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!" He asks for another card. It’s another ace. He has twenty. "Saul, take another card," the voice commands. I have twenty! Saul shouts. "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!!" booms the voice. Hit me,Saul says. He gets another ace. Twenty one. The booming voice goes: "un-fucking-believable!"
Vote: has 60.66 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, celebrity, money
An old man was on his death bed. He wanted badly to take all his money with him. He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside. "Here’s $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me." At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed that he had only put $20,000 into the envelope because he needed $10,000 for a new baptistery. "Well, since we’re confiding in each other," said the doctor, "I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new machine at the hospital which cost $20,000." The lawyer was aghast. "I’m ashamed of both of you," he exclaimed. "I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000."
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, death, money, priest, doctor
What do cows get when they do all their chores? Mooney.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, money
A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care." "Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every month."
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, medical, mechanic, money
Q: Why did the silly kid try to feed pennies to the cat? A: Because his mother told him to put money in the kitty.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, kitty, cat, money
Never borrow money from optimists – they always expect to get it back.
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money