The best money jokes

Three cheapskates try to figure out a way of killing themselves with one bullet – so they put their heads together.
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The lawyer’s motto: a man is not guilty until he demonstrates he is out of money...
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What kind of money do polar bears use? Ice lolly.
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This desperate guy named Jim goes to the whorehouse with 5$. He buys a the cheapest prostitute named Sandpaper Sally. As they start to have sex, Jim screams, "Ouch! Now I know why they call you Sandpaper Sally!" Sally scoots out of the room. Five minutes later she came back and Jim attempts sex once again. "What the hell happened?" asks Jim, "This is the best sex I''ve ever had!" Sally replies, "Oh, I just picked my scabs."
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Q: What do the Jews hate most about the Holocaust? A: The cost.
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Money isn’t everything, but at least it encourages relatives to stay in touch.
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Fred: Thank you so much for lending me that money. I shall be everlastingly in your debt. Harry: That's what I'm afraid of!
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‘If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?’ Steven Wright
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“How can I ever thank you?” gushed a woman to Clarence Darrow, after he had solved her legal troubles. “My dear woman,” Darrow replied, “ever since the Phoenicians invented money there has been only one answer to that question.”
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How much money did the bronco have? Only a buck!
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