The best money jokes

Yo' Mama is so poor, she only goes to the grocery store for free samples.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: money, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so poor, she does a drive-by from the bus.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: money, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is like a bus: she's big, she stinks, and it's only a dollar to ride.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: money, Yo mama
Two shepherds lean on their crooks at the end of a long day and the first asks the second, "So, how's it going?" The second one sighed and shook his head, "Not good, I can't pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me, and my wife is leaving me." The first replied, "Well, don't lose any sheep over it."
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, health, money, wife
Yo mama is so stupid that she thought starbucks are money in space.
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has 62.37 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: money, stupid, Yo mama
An American goes to the train station so he can start his big trip. He notices there a machine with the indication: "Put A Dollar in the Slot and the Machine will Tell you who you are!" Curious, he puts the dollar inside the slot and he waits. The machine suddenly sounds; "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago." The man blacked out with the machine's ability. So, he decided to trick the machine. He wore a fake mustache and putted another dollar inside the slot. "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago," says the machine. "But it's impossible!" screamed the man, acquiring a maniac need to trick the machine. He ran to the toilet and disguised as an Arab. Then, he did the same routine. "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago." Furious then, he disguises as a woman and puts the dollar as usual in the slot. -You're John Bull, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall, 90 kilos and with your bullshits you.. lost the train!
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has 62.19 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, travel
Q: What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.? A: Lazy.
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, office, time, work
Q: Who was the first accountant? A: Adam. He got interested in figures, turned the first leaf, made the first entry lost interest after withdrawal, buggered up the monthly accounts and raised the first liability.
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, work
“How can I ever thank you?” gushed a woman to Clarence Darrow, after he had solved her legal troubles. “My dear woman,” Darrow replied, “ever since the Phoenicians invented money there has been only one answer to that question.”
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
A woman comes up to me and says, "Hey sexy you lost 185 lbs and now you have money." "You wanna be my sugar daddy?" "Nope I'm diabetic!"
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has 62.10 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: flirt, health, money, stupid
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