The best money jokes

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
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Should you trust a stockbroker who’s married to a travel agent?
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I’ve just come into some money. I wonder if they’ll still accept it at the shop?
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A man walks into a bar and orders a triple brandy with a double whisky chaser. ‘You know I shouldn’t really be drinking like this with what I’ve got,’ says the man to the barman. ‘Why? What have you got?’ asks the barman. ‘Fifty pence,’ replies the man.
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Getting money out of my father was like taking candy from a baby. He used to scream and cry like hell.
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Why did the mobster put his money in the freezer? He liked cold hard cash!
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What’s six inches long, two inches wide and drives women wild? A fifty-dollar bill.
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Uncle gives little Johnny a £5 note for his birthday. ‘Spend it carefully,’ says Uncle. ‘Remember – a fool and his money are soon parted.’ Little Johnny replies, ‘Well you certainly handed it over fast enough.’
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A young man wants to be left something in his aunt’s will, so every day he goes round and takes her poodles for a walk. When she finally dies, she does indeed remember the kindness of her nephew – and leaves him the poodles.
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What’s the best way to get in touch with your long-lost relatives? Win the Lottery.
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