Yo mama is so poor that your TV got 2 channels: ON and OFF.
Vote:
Why are black people & vending machines the same?
Because they both don't work & they both steal your money.
Vote:
A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer.
The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and asked, "How do you handle the situation when you are asked for advice during a social function?"
"Just send an account for such advice" replied the lawyer.
On the next morning the doctor arrived at his surgery and issued the ulcer-stricken man a $50 account.
That afternoon he received a $100 account from the lawyer.
I wouldn’t say that inflation is making my life difficult, but I’m now starving on an income I used to dream about.
There was a fire at the local tax office but the fire brigade managed to put it out before any serious good was done.
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she goes to the park, the pigeons throw her bread.
Q: What do you call a group financial controller who's lost his job?
A: Bob.
Vote:
Insurance companies are trying to set new guidelines before approving Viagra coverage.
What will they use to set those guidelines?
A growth chart.
Two russian guys are walking down the street and they find a $100.
So one says, "Ok, lets buy bread for $1 and the rest we spend on vodka?."
The other says, "I don't get it, why do we need so much bread?."
‘Money frees you from doing things you dislike, since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.’
Groucho Marx