Why is money green? Because people usually pick it before it's ripe!
I got this antique watch from my grandfather on his deathbed – he put up one hell of a fight for it.
Jesus saves. But wouldn’t it have been better if he had invested?
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I saw a tramp who was so broke he was standing on the corner shouting, ‘Will work for cardboard and a magic marker!’
We were so poor the only way I could afford to get my suit pressed was to ride the subway during rush hour.
‘He’s spending a year dead for tax purposes.’ Douglas Adams
A husband gives his wife a complete mink outfit for her birthday – a 12-bore shotgun and some traps.
The best way of saving money is to forget who you borrowed it from.
How do you hide your money from a mexican?