The best money jokes

Why shouldn't you carry two half dollars in your pocket? Because two halves make a whole (hole), and you could lose your money.
Vote: has 20.20 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

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Born free. Taxed to death. A man goes into a shop to get his wife a present. He points out a bottle of perfume and asks
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‘I used to live in a sub-basement. The janitor that had the apartment during the Depression had some stocks. When the market crashed, he was wiped out. He tried to kill himself by jumping out of the window and up on to street level.’ Woody Allen
Vote: has 19.47 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

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At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars. One of the chamber members stood up and said, "I vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army."
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Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player? Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.
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Have you heard about the new aftershave that drives women crazy? No! Tell me about it. It smells of $50 dollar bills.
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The wages of sin are death – but after taxes and NI contributions you’ll just end up feeling a bit tired.
Vote: has 19.23 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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Why did the millionaire count his money with his toes? So it wouldn't slip through his fingers!
Vote: has 18.69 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

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I was taken short in the back of a taxi. Because of all the mess I gave the driver a ten-pound note. Mind you it had only been a fiver before I wiped myself with it.
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Did you hear about the gypsy who won the Lottery? He got paid in travellers’ cheques.
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