Think nobody knows you’re alive? Try missing a payment.
Uncle Harry is very rich. His dog was lonely so he bought it a boy to play with. ‘He’s spending a year dead for tax purposes.’ Douglas Adams
The best things in life are free, plus tax.
He was so mean that when he found a pack of corn plasters he went out and bought a pair of tight shoes.
Did you hear about the cover-all insurance policy? If you bump your head, they pay you a lump sum.
Our family was so poor our Christmas dinner was the leftovers from our last Christmas dinner.
Elmore walked into his favorite truck stop cafe and said to the owner, "Hey, Roy, you wanna take a chance on a raffle?" "Whada ya win?" "A million dollars!" said the redneck. "You get a dollar a year for a million years." "How much are they each?" "Ten cents. Two for a quarter. Or three for half a dollar!"
What’s the difference between your wage packet and your trouser packet? You don’t have to beg a woman to blow your wage packet.
‘Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of “rich” usually cancels out the nice of “bald”.’ Rita Rudner
She was so rich she even had monograms on the bags under her eyes.