The best money jokes

Think nobody knows you’re alive? Try missing a payment.
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Uncle Harry is very rich. His dog was lonely so he bought it a boy to play with. ‘He’s spending a year dead for tax purposes.’ Douglas Adams
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The best things in life are free, plus tax.
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He was so mean that when he found a pack of corn plasters he went out and bought a pair of tight shoes.
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Did you hear about the cover-all insurance policy? If you bump your head, they pay you a lump sum.
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Our family was so poor our Christmas dinner was the leftovers from our last Christmas dinner.
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Elmore walked into his favorite truck stop cafe and said to the owner, "Hey, Roy, you wanna take a chance on a raffle?" "Whada ya win?" "A million dollars!" said the redneck. "You get a dollar a year for a million years." "How much are they each?" "Ten cents. Two for a quarter. Or three for half a dollar!"
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What’s the difference between your wage packet and your trouser packet? You don’t have to beg a woman to blow your wage packet.
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‘Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of “rich” usually cancels out the nice of “bald”.’ Rita Rudner
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She was so rich she even had monograms on the bags under her eyes.
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