When you have a man staring at a naked Playboy model, be sure that he doesn’t wonder if she knows cooking, or if she plays piano or if she has a nice personality either!
I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.
Chuck Norris can go Platinum on a Blank CD.
Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing. "Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas carols." "Thats nice of you, Alfie," she replied, "but why?" Alfie replied, "Because then I'd only have to hear your voice once a year!"
Why couldn't Usain Bolt listen to his music? "Because he broke the record."
Chuck Norris installed iTunes... in Blackberry!
Chuck Norris created Heavy Metal when he was upset.
The Beatles originally sang "All you need is Chuck Norris".
Chuck Norris told Wiz Khalifa what it is.
What do you call a rabbit who is real cool? A hip hopper.