Chuck Norris made the Beatles cross Abbey Road.
What did Mariah Carey really wanted to sing: "All I want for Christmas is you... to get hit by a reindeer."
Chuck Norris once stood on a bridge in London. Then they wrote a song about it.
Chuck Norris can make a rap video without booties and cars.
Q: What did the Nickelback fan say to the other Nickelback fan when they ran out of weed? A: Man, this music sucks.
A little boy was learning about God in his church, and he was talking to his mother about it. She, not wanting to place prejudice in the little boy’s mind, sat him and said: “God is not a man or a woman, and God is not black or white.” To which the child responded, “Well, then is God Michael Jackson?”
All these Miley Cyrus jokes are whoreable.
I'm actually glad that 2 Chainz mentions his name at the begin of every song. It gives me time to change the radio station.
A guy dies and is sent to hell. Extremely frightened because of that, he is very surprised when he arrives; beach, palm trees, sun is shining, happy people around in shorts and bikinis. Behind the next corner there are people eating great food and there's some cool music playing. After some time of wondering, a man in an expensive suit approaches him and says: "Hi, you must be the new one. Welcome to hell, I'm the devil. As you're gonna spend eternity here, make yourself comfortable and have a drink. If anything bothers you, always feel free to ask me." The guy still doesn't really understand what's going on, this is not what he expected. But finally he decides to inspect the area. Everywhere he goes, there are people laughing and having a great time, there's games, party and fun all around. Then he arrives at a steep cliff that divides the paradise hell from an area underneath, and there is hell as we know it: demons torturing the doomed, there's fire and the smell of brimstone. Shocked, he runs to the devil and says "Devil, how can that be? Here, we have the sweet eternity and down there people are tortured and burned! How can that be?!" The devil laughs and says "Oh, that. That's the Catholics - they want it that way."
Ozzy Osbourne once snorted a line of ants. Chuck Norris once snorted a line of bricks.