Chuck Norris has an iPhone with whole apple.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead team were sent out to install telephone poles for the Telephone Company. After the first day, the brunette team had installed 30 poles, the redhead team had installed 37 poles, and the blonde team had installed 7. The contractor was outraged with the blonde team and demanded to know why they had done so few. "Hey, we saw what the other teams were doing. Their's were still sticking out of the ground."
Chuck Norris recently got himself an iPad. It turned into iDust when he tried to use it.
A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. Wife: 'What are you doing dear?' Husband: 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females' Wife: 'How on earth do you know which gender they were?' Husband: 'Easy - 3 were on the beer, and the other 2 were on the phone.'
Yo' Mama is like my cell phone plan: 10 cents a minute anytime, anywhere, no restrictions.
Q: How do you make your wife scream while having sex? A: Call her and tell her.
Chuck Norris installed iTunes... in Blackberry!
Yo momma so fat when she stepped on the scale it came up with my phone number.
If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank. By phone.
Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.