The best phone jokes

A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he opened the door a truck came roaring past and completely tore off the driver’s door of the Lexus. The lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone and dialed 911. When a policeman arrived, the lawyer was still screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again. After the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting, the cop shook his head in disgust. "I can’t believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don’t notice anything else." "How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer. The cop replied, "Didn’t you notice that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you." The lawyer looked down to his left side and let out a terrible scream: "Oh my God!… MY ROLEX!"
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, car, phone, cop, god
Why did the blonde burn her ear? The phone rang while she was ironing!
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, technology, phone
I would actually use Siri if the voice sounded like Morgan Freeman.
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, celebrity, phone
Every mobile phone user has complained like this: Don't text me while I'm in the middle of texting you, because now I have to change the whole text.
Vote: has 59.79 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, phone
A man was going to bed one night when his wife told him that he had left the light on in the shed. She could see the light was on from the bedroom window. As the man looked for himself he saw that there were people in the shed taking things. The man phoned the police, but they told him that no one was in the area to help him at that time, but they would send someone over as soon as they were available. He said "OK," hung up, and waited one minute, then phoned the police back. "Hello" he said, "I just called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now 'cause I've shot them." Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an Armed Response unit, the works. Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed. One of the officers said: "I thought you said that you shot Them!" The man replied, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
Vote: has 58.77 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, wife, phone
What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application? Your iphone will keep crashing!
Vote: has 58.52 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, phone, dirty, celebrity
Yo' Mama is so fat, she has to make a long distance call to talk to herself.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, fat, phone
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies," He responded. "Oh, killing any?" She asked. "Yep, three males, two females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell? He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, women, animal, beer, phone
What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around? Dead Siri-ous.
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, technology, phone