Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.
Chuck Norris doesn't vote. He elects!
When Teddy Rosavelt said there is nothing to fear but fear itself he obiously hadn't met Chuck Norris.
Q: What do you call a snake who works for the government? A: A civil serpent.
Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 200. Ten to attach the bulb to the sun, and 190 to make the sun revolve around the Earth.
Barack Obama was elected president of the USA because Chuck Norris said so. He remind him of Trivette...
The president of the USA lives in the White House. Chuck Norris lives in the Roundhouse.
Bill Clinton walks out on to his front porch, and written in urine was "The president must go." Bill Clinton storms into his office and demaned to know who did it. So his two body guards run out to find out who it was. Five hours later the two gaurds come back in, they told Bill, "We have some bad news, and we have worse news." "What is the bad news?" asked Bill. "Well, the bad news is, we took a urine test, and it was his vice-president, Al Gore." "Whats the worst news?" asked Bill. "The worst news is that it is Hillary's hand writing!"
No one's afraid to criticize the US President, but no one even dares to say one bad thing about Chuck Norris...
Abraham Lincoln can finish a play better than the 2013 Broncos.