Q: What do you get if you cross a dirty politician with a filthy womanizer?
A: Chelsea.
Have you heard of the new Obama happy meal at Mcdonalds?
It comes with a promise that you'll get a toy someday.
Yo' Mama is so fat, politicians fight over redistricting her ass.
Chuck Norris was asked if he would be running for President, after a chuckle, he stated, nothing makes him run.
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Yo mama's so dumb, she thinks socialism means partying!
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Religion is a lot more like politics.
The only difference is that with religion you get to confess your own sins.
Bill Clinton walks out on to his front porch, and written in urine was "The president must go."
Bill Clinton storms into his office and demaned to know who did it.
So his two body guards run out to find out who it was.
Five hours later the two gaurds come back in, they told Bill, "We have some bad news, and we have worse news."
"What is the bad news?" asked Bill.
"Well, the bad news is, we took a urine test, and it was his vice-president, Al Gore."
"Whats the worst news?" asked Bill.
"The worst news is that it is Hillary's hand writing!"
Q: In what way are Democrats more generous than Republicans?
A: Unlike Republicans, Democrats are not only generous with their own money, but also with other people's money.
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Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, but millions volunteered to get rid of anything dark
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There were four people on a plane.
One of them, the Pilot.
The other was the president of the United States –Obama, The oldest man in the world, and a little boy.
The plane was about to crash and the only option for survival was to jump!
But there were only three parachutes.
The Pilot took a parachute and said, "I'm the pilot, so I should get a parachute."
And he jumped off.
Then Obama grabs a and jumps saying, "Since I'm the president, I get one too!"
And he jumps.
The little boy then grabs a parachute and hands it to the old man.
The man declines, saying, "No, boy, take it. I'm too old anyway."
The boy answers, "What? No! Obama took my back-pack!"
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