An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow were hired at a construction site. The foreman pointed out a huge pile of sand and told the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman he said, "You're in charge of shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies." He then said, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile." The foreman went away for a of couple hours, and, when he returned, the pile of sand was untouched. He asked the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" The Italian replied, "I no hava no broom. You said to the Chinese fella that he a wasa in a charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere." Then the foreman turned to the Scotsman and said, "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile." The Scotsman replied, "Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get meself a shoovel! Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldnay fin' him either." The foreman was really angry by now and stormed off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy. Just then, the Chinese guy jumped out from behind the pile of sand and yelled... "SUPPLIES!"
Q: Why aren't there any Wal Marts in Afghanistan? A: Because there is a Target on every corner.
Q: What's faster than a speeding bullet? A: A Jew with a coupon.
Q: What is the difference between northern and southerner fairytales? A: Northerner starts off with "Once upon a time..." a southerner starts with "listen to this shit..."
There's 1000 black guys and 1 white guy. What do you call the white guy? Warden.
I'm so tired of racial stereotypes. Not every Arab makes bombs...some of them make Slurpees.
How do you find the population of Mexico? roll a penny down the street How do you find the richest person in Mexico? SEE WHO GOT THE PENNY!
Hitler calls a meeting of his best soldiers and commanders and tells them "Alright I want to order the assassination of one thousand jews and four hedgehogs." Then one of his generals stands and says "But... Mein furhur why four hedgehogs?" Hitler then smiles and says "See? No one gives a f*ck about the jews."
Life Lemons Saying: White Guy: When Life gives you lemons enjoy them with friends. Black Guy: When Life gives you lemons sell them, buy a gun, point it at life and say "More lemons mother Fucker".
What's the flattest surface you can iron your clothes on? Asian girl's ass.