The best relationship jokes

A boyfriend asks his girlfriend: "What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?" "Well, I don't know" she answers shyly. "OK, that I give you another year to think about it…"
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More jokes about: men, relationship, Valentines day, time
2 boys searching for their lost girlfriends: 1st: How your girlfriend look like? 2nd: 5'6, hot, sexy, blue eyes... what about yours? 1st: Forget about mine.. lets search for yours.
Vote: has 77.47 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, relationship
At the court of a small provincial town, a lawyer calls his first witness, an old woman around 80 and he asks her with a professional style: "Do you know me, Mrs. Rowland?" "Of course, I know you Mr. Smith! says the old woman. I know you since you were little, and I have to confess that I am very disappointed in you. You lie, you cheat on your wife repeatedly, you gossip about your clients. Of course, I know you!" Speechless, by the unexpected answer, the lawyer points with his finger on the other side of the court room and says: "Do you know the defense lawyer?" "Oh, yes! I know Mr. Soft as well. I was holding him in my arms when he was a baby, and I can say that I am disappointed in him, too. He’s a drunk and a gamester. He finds it hard to develop a normal relationship with anyone and he is one of the worst lawyers of our town!" At that point, the Chairman interrupts the process and demands from the two lawyers to approach the bench. When they do, he bends over and whispers to them: "If any of you jerks, asks if she knows me, you’re screwed!"
Vote: has 77.36 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, wife, drunk, relationship, lawyer
Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a very smart jeweller's shop in Hatton Garden, London. The jeweller inquired, "Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?" Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, "No, instead engrave 'To my one and only love'." The jeweller smiled and said, "Yes, sir; how very romantic of you." Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, "Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again."
Vote: has 76.32 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: relationship, Valentines day, love, romantic, mean
A guy was stranded on a desert island with Heidi Klum. Initially, he played it cool, not making any moves on her for several weeks. Finally, he asked her if they could start a physical relationship, so as to attend to each other's needs. Heidi was game and a very nice sexual relationship began.  After several months, the guy approached Heidi and said, "I have a problem. It's kind of a guy thing, but I need to ask you a favour." Heidi replied, "Okay," to which he asked, "Can I borrow your eyebrow pencil?" Heidi looked at him in confusion, but obliged.  The guy then asked, "Do you mind if I use the eyebrow pencil to draw a mustache on you?" Heidi was growing worried, but again obliged, so the guy drew a mustache on her.  Then the guy said, "Can you wear some of my clothes? I need for you to look more like a man." Heidi was becoming disappointed at this point, but hesitantly put on his clothes.  Finally, the guy said to Heidi, "Do you mind if I call you Phil?" Heidi had now become very dejected, and said "No, I guess not, you can call me Phil." So, the guy reached out and grabbed Heidi by the arms and shouted "Phil, you'll never believe who I'm fucking!"
Vote: has 75.62 % from 210 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, relationship, game, desert island
I hear Taylor Swift's ex boyfriends are collabing on a new single called "Maybe You're The Problem".
Vote: has 73.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, relationship, music, celebrity
Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you? Girlfriend: It’s sufficient for me but how will you survive?
Vote: has 72.21 % from 521 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, relationship
Q: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? A: They already have boyfriends.
Vote: has 72.16 % from 151 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, relationship
I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today. I had to drop the bomb two or three times before she finally got it.
Vote: has 71.52 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: relationship, black humor, death, terrorist
My girlfriend is like February 30th, she doesn't exist.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: relationship, insulting, time