The best relationship jokes

The government shutdown has officially lasted longer than any of Taylor Swift's relationships.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, relationship, political
Bro, send me some good jokes. Sorry, now I'm busy with my Girlfriend. Good One! Send me more.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: relationship, insulting, friendship, love, time
I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer... but no one will do it.
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, time, relationship
"Does she have a boyfriend?" "Yes, a cute, strong and clever one." "What's the name?" "John, Michael and Bill."
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, relationship
A young Scottish lad and lassie were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, and just gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin'... perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss." The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." The young man knit his brow. "Well, now," he said, "my thoughts are a bit more serious this time." "Really?" said the girl in a whisper, filled with anticipation. "Aye," said the lad. "Din'na ye think it's aboot time ye paid me that first penny?"
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, relationship
One woman to another at a singles bar: “I’m not as optimistic about relationships as I used to be. These days, when I meet a man, I ask myself, 'Is this the guy I want my children to spend every other weekend with?'”
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, relationship
"What happened to your girlfriend, that really cute math student?" "She no longer is my girlfriend. I caught her cheating on me." "I don't believe that she cheated on you!" "Well, a couple of nights ago I called her on the phone, and she told me that she was in bed wrestling with three unknowns..."
Vote: has 63.63 % from 83 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: math, student, relationship, phone
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the plant and get some work done."
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, wife, relationship, time
Q: What do two rednecks say after breaking up? A: Lets just be cousins.
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: redneck, family, relationship
Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you? A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
Vote: has 60.75 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, animal, sex, relationship