Q:Why did the computer lose its trust relationship with the domain? A:Because it was corrupted in active directory and needed to be removed and re-added again!
5 stages of being single: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, texting your ex something random then going like "sorry wrong message".
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish. Happy Valentine's Day.
Man comes home from work to find his boyfriend whacking off into a condom. Man says, "WTF?" Boyfriend says, "I am making you a sack lunch!"
A fellow always wanted to own a pet skunk, so in the dead of winter, he took his girlfriend with him to go hunting for one. After a bit of waiting, they bagged a skunk and brought him back to the truck. The skunk was very scared and very cold, so the guy asks his girlfriend if she can keep the skunk between her legs to keep him warm. "But what about the smell?" asks his girlfriend. "Oh, he'll get used to it, just like I did."
What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship? Telling you his real name.
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? They already have boyfriends.
If I've invested precious time and energy in a relationship, and I've been honest and open, hanging and coping, true blue, a good screw, to some fly guy who's out constantly getting high, then I'm dumped suicide is not one of my thoughts. I'm thinking maybe homicide.
Q: Why did the lion brake up with his girlfriend? A: Cuz she was a CHEETAH!
Yo' Mama is so skanky, she went to a family reunion looking for a boyfriend.