The best school jokes

Phil: What makes a Cyclops such an effective teacher? Cheryl: I don’t know. Phil: He has only one pupil.
Vote: has 55.51 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

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She is so blonde, she studied for a blood test.
Vote: has 55.34 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, school
How many students does it take to change a light bulb? "Is it worth any bonus marks?"
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

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A grandmother was pushing her little grandchild around Wal- Mart in a buggy. Each time she put something in the basket she would say, "And here’s something for you, Diploma." or "This will make a cute little outfit for you, Diploma." and so on. Eventually a bewildered shopper who’d heard all this finally asked, "Why do you keep calling your grandchild Diploma?" The grandmother replied, "I sent my daughter to the University of Virginia and this is what she came home with!"
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, school
There were three guys at a bar. One was a college student, one was a buisness man and the other was a biker. The student tells the two other men that it was his aniversary and he got his wife a pearl necklace and a trip to the Bahamas "Shit if she doesnt like the necklace she'll love the trip" he said. So the buisness man said "That's nice, for my last aniversary I got my wife a Mercades and a new mansion, if she didn't like the mercades she has to like the new mansion. " As the biker finished his drink he said "For my last aniversary I got my wife a t-shirt and a vibrator. If she didn't like the t-shirt she can go fuck herself."
Vote: has 54.66 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, bar, business, college, student
Teacher: "Alex, stop showing off. Do you think you are the teacher of this class?" Alex: "No, Miss." Teacher: "Then stop acting like a fool!"
Vote: has 54.49 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, teacher
A little girl cuts her hand on the playground and runs crying to the teacher. She asks the teacher for a glass of cider. "Why do you want a glass of cider?" the teacher asks. "To take away the pain," sobs the little girl. "What do you mean?" the teacher asks. "Well," sobs the little girl. "I overheard my big sister say that whenever she has a prick in her hand, she can't wait to get it in cider."
Vote: has 54.31 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

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Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. “Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”
Vote: has 54.29 % from 125 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, school, teacher, phone
When chuck Norris was in school, he made his PE teacher run laps.
Vote: has 54.16 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

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In the beautiful world of fantasy, holding hands is the first sign of true love. In college it means someone is too drunk to stand on their own.
Vote: has 54.15 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, beauty, love, college, drunk