Boy: “Isn’t the principal a dummy!”
Girl: “Say, do you know who I am?”
Boy: “No.”
Girl: “I’m the principal’s daughter.”
Boy: “And do you know who I am?”
Girl: “No,”
Boy: “Thank goodness!”
When you try to change a man, you basically undertake his mother’s role;
And she made him eat spinach and study for school...
In high school, teachers had to raise up their hand to speak to Chuck Norris.
Vote:
An English professor complained to the pet shop proprietor, “The parrot I purchased uses improper language.”
“I’m surprised,” said the owner.
“I’ve never taught that bird to swear.”
“Oh, it isn’t that,” explained the professor.
“But yesterday I heard him split an infinitive.”
Q: Why can't a blonde count to 70?
A: Because 69's a mouthful.
Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student.
Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night.
This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes.
15 minutes looking for assignment.
11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment.
23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children.
8 minutes in the bathroom.
10 minutes getting a snack.
7 minutes checking the TV Guide.
6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment.
10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.
Father: "You've got 4 D's and a C on your report."
Son: "Maybe I concentrated too much on the one subject..."
Little Johnny returns from school and says:
"Mam, in school we write dirty swear-words so often!"
"But I hope you are not writing them, my son."
"No, I'm dictating them!"
Vote:
How many schoolteachers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework.
Teacher: Can you tell me where Napoleon came from? Pupil: Course I can. Teacher: Very good.