The best sex jokes

Q. Difference between a man buying a lottery ticket and a man fighting with his wife... A. A man has a chance at winning at the lottery.
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has 75.01 % from 284 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: How do you make four old ladies say "FUCK!"? A: Get a fifth one to yell "BINGO!"
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has 74.99 % from 631 votes. More jokes about: sex
Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine." His second friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber. The other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine." Paddy says: "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. "No, I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."
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has 74.97 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, sex, wife
Have you ever seen the serial number on a condom? No? Oh sorry, you must not have to roll it down that far.
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has 74.96 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: dirty, insulting, sex
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stuart said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?
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has 74.94 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: dirty, family, marriage, sex, wife
Q: What's the difference between a whore and a bitch? A: A whore fucks everybody and a bitch fucks everybody but you.
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has 74.89 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, vulgar, women
Masturbation is like procrastination, it’s all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself!
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has 74.86 % from 243 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: What is the first symptom of AIDS? A: A sharp pain in the ass.
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has 74.81 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: health, medical, sex
While doing a vasectomy, the doctor slipped and cut off one of the man’s balls. To avoid a huge malpractice suit, he decided to replace the missing testicle with a pickled onion. Several weeks later, the patient returned for a checkup. “How’s your sex life?” asked the doctor. “Pretty good,” the man said, to the doctor’s obvious relief. But then the patient added, “I’ve had some strange side effects that are causing serious problems.” “What’s that?” the doctor asked anxiously. “Well, every time I urinate, my eyes water.” “Hmm,” said the doctor, thoughtfully. “That’s not all,” continued the patient. “When my wife does me orally, she gets heartburn.” “Hmm,” said the doctor, as his face reddened. “It gets worse, Doc. Now, every time I pass a hamburger stand….I get an erection!”
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has 74.80 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, food, life, sex
Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-Olympic s*x. Friend: Wow, must be a terrific s*x life? Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 years.
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has 74.79 % from 316 votes. More jokes about: sex
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