The best sex jokes

AT WORK, Michael: Why you white guys always so happy? Casey: Because I make love to my wife every morning before work. Michael: Say whaaat? You get her to make love EVERY morning? How do you do that? Casey: It's easy, I just say a poem, women love poems and will fall for them all the time. Michael: Ok, what kind of poem can you say to make her make love every morning? Casey: I say, "blonde hair, blonde hair, eyes of blue, I love to wake up and make love to you. Michael: HAHAAA she falls for that? Casey: yes you should try it. NEXT DAY TYRONE COMES IN WITH BLACK EYE FAT LIP AND A TOOTH MISSING. Casey: What happened to you? Michael: Well, I said a poem to my wife and she didn't like it. Casey: She didn't like it? What did you say? Michael: Nappy head, nappy head, eyes like a frog, if I could roll your fat ass over I would do you like a dog.
Vote: has 68.89 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: white people, black people, sex, poems
A husband and wife decide they need to spice up their sex life. The wife buys a pair of crotchless underwear, puts them on, and goes into the bedroom. She seductively asks her husband, "Hey Big Boy, do ya want some of this?" The husband takes one look at her underwear and replies, "Hell no! Look what that thing does to underwear!"
Vote: has 68.76 % from 123 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
A guy is driving his car and finds a friend crying, sitting on the road. He stops. And he asks him: - Hey, What happens to you? - (crying) Look! and he points a crashed car. - Well, don't care and buy another car. - Look inside the car! - Well, don't care and get another blonde, and that's all. - Look inside her mouth!!!
Vote: has 68.73 % from 315 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, car, money, blonde
Man walks over to a lady in a bar and asks "whats your name ?" "Carmen" she replies,... "I like cars and men ! Whats yours ?" The man looks her up and down and sayes "Beerpussy ..."
Vote: has 68.66 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, bar, car, beer, sex
Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine. We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
Vote: has 68.60 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sex
A doctor asks a patient while examining her: How many sex partners did you have? 5 or 6, don't remember exactly.. Hmm, not that many... Yes, that wasn't the most successful weekend.
Vote: has 68.60 % from 317 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Condoms are not completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and he got hit by a bus.
Vote: has 68.37 % from 335 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
A sexy girl looks at the big beer belly of a man and asks: Is that Carlsberg or Tuborg? There‘s a tap underneath it – why don‘t you taste it yourself?
Vote: has 68.31 % from 314 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Why do women need guys? Vibrators don’t usually pay for drinks.
Vote: has 68.20 % from 103 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Your best friend has three girlfriends. Their names are Doe, Ray, and Me. All 3 want to do something special so they set up some dates. Three days ago Doe kisses him. Two days ago Ray gives him vaginal sex. Yesterday, who sucks his dick?
Vote: has 68.19 % from 1339 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, dating