Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom. Because he never f*cks up.
One day, an old guy gets on a bus. Several minutes later a punk kid with red, green, and orange hair gets on. The kid notices that the old man keeps staring at him. "What you staring at, old man? Ain't you ever done anything wild in your time?" "Yeah. I screwed a parrot once. I was wondering if you were my son?"
There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who have regular sex.
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. Steve Martin
Question: If you went to a party and woke up with a condom in your ass would you tell anyone? Answer: No! Response: Wanna go to a party?
Sex is bad Sex is a sin Sins are forgiven So stick it in.
In year 1272 Arabics invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine. In year 1873 the British somewhat reinvented the condom by taking it out of the goat first.
Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Man, to woman, ‘Am I the first man you ever made love to?’ Woman, ‘You might be. Now you come to mention it, your face does look familiar.’
What is a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging.