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The was a man named George who got a new job. His fellow employees always met for a round of golf every Saturday. They asked George to meet them at 10:00 Saturday morning. George replied that he would love to meet them, but he may be 10 minutes late. On Saturday morning George was there at exactly 10:00. He golfed right handed and won the round. Next Saturday rolls around, and George says that he will be there, but he may be 10 minutes late again. He shows up right on time, golfs left handed, and wins the round. This continues for the next few weeks, with Geoge always saying that he may be 10 minutes late, and then always winning the round golfing, either left or right handed. The other employees are getting tired of this, and decided to ask him what the deal was. They said, ''George, every Saturday you say you may be ten minutes late. You never are. Then you show up and golf with either right handed or left handed, and always win. What is up with that?'' George replies, ''Well, I am a very superstitious kind of guy. Every Saturday when I wake up, I look over at my wife. If she is sleeping on her left side, I golf left handed. If she is sleeping on her right side, I golf right handed.'' ''Well,'' one of the employees questioned, ''What happens if she is laying on her back?'' George replies, ''Then I am 10 minutes late.''
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Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you? A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
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What’s the difference between ‘Oooh!’ and ‘Aaah!’? About three inches.
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Q: Why did Daft Punk spend the night with a Leprechaun? A: He was "Up all night to get lucky"
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Q: What does a good steak have in common with good sex? A: They're both very rare.
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Apparently 98% of black people enjoy sex in the shower. The other 2% have never been to prison.
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Q: What do you call a Republican politician who hasn't been connected to a gay sex scandal? A: Due.
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Yo mama's so fat when she is having sex, her partner doesen't know if it's in her butt or her boobs.
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What happens when a dwarf runs between a girls legs? He gets a clit around the head and a flap on the face.
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What´s the difference between a goodyear and a fucking good year? 365 condoms.
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