The ladies say I'm like Usain Bolt in the bedroom... I usually wear a yellow and green vest.
What’s the difference between ‘Oooh!’ and ‘Aaah!’? About three inches.
Q: Why did Daft Punk spend the night with a Leprechaun? A: He was "Up all night to get lucky"
Q. What do you call a rabbit with a bent dick? A. Fucks Funny!
What happens when a dwarf runs between a girls legs? He gets a clit around the head and a flap on the face.
What’s a man’s definition of safe sex? Meeting his mistress at least 30 miles from his house.
A beautiful woman sits next to a drunk in a bar. He turns to her and says, ‘Hey, honey. How about you and me getting it on? I’ve got a couple of pounds and it looks like you could use the money.’ The woman turns to him and says, ‘What makes you think I charge by the inch?’
What’s the difference between a sex night with the husband and one with the truelove? About a half an hour...
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 95%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
The was a man named George who got a new job. His fellow employees always met for a round of golf every Saturday. They asked George to meet them at 10:00 Saturday morning. George replied that he would love to meet them, but he may be 10 minutes late. On Saturday morning George was there at exactly 10:00. He golfed right handed and won the round. Next Saturday rolls around, and George says that he will be there, but he may be 10 minutes late again. He shows up right on time, golfs left handed, and wins the round. This continues for the next few weeks, with Geoge always saying that he may be 10 minutes late, and then always winning the round golfing, either left or right handed. The other employees are getting tired of this, and decided to ask him what the deal was. They said, ''George, every Saturday you say you may be ten minutes late. You never are. Then you show up and golf with either right handed or left handed, and always win. What is up with that?'' George replies, ''Well, I am a very superstitious kind of guy. Every Saturday when I wake up, I look over at my wife. If she is sleeping on her left side, I golf left handed. If she is sleeping on her right side, I golf right handed.'' ''Well,'' one of the employees questioned, ''What happens if she is laying on her back?'' George replies, ''Then I am 10 minutes late.''