The best sex jokes

What did the vagina say to the penis. So do you cum here often.
Vote: has 59.49 % from 161 votes. Send joke:

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Q. What do you call a rabbit with a bent dick? A. Fucks Funny!
Vote: has 59.35 % from 139 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why don't Canadians have group sex? A: Too many thank-you letters to write afterwards.
Vote: has 59.29 % from 79 votes. Send joke:

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This desperate guy named Jim goes to the whorehouse with 5$. He buys a the cheapest prostitute named Sandpaper Sally. As they start to have sex, Jim screams, "Ouch! Now I know why they call you Sandpaper Sally!" Sally scoots out of the room. Five minutes later she came back and Jim attempts sex once again. "What the hell happened?" asks Jim, "This is the best sex I''ve ever had!" Sally replies, "Oh, I just picked my scabs."
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, money, sex
The ladies say I'm like Usain Bolt in the bedroom... I usually wear a yellow and green vest.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: athlete, women, sex
An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra. The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?” The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.” The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.” The elderly gentleman said, “That’s all right. I don’t need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t pee on my shoes.”
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: old people, doctor, viagra, sex, disgusting
Q: What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? A: One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: vulgar, sex, time, dirty
Q. What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes? A. Goes-in-tight!
Vote: has 59.15 % from 106 votes. Send joke:

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What’s the difference between a sex night with the husband and one with the truelove? About a half an hour...
Vote: has 59.10 % from 95 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, husband, love
An alien walks into a bar and sits next to a drunk guy and begins poking him in the shoulder. The drunk guy just ignores him. After a wile the guy turns to the alien and begins looking him up and down. He notices that the alien has no genitalia. He then asks "You guys have no genitalia, how do you guy have sex?" The alien, still poking him in the arm, just smiles!
Vote: has 58.98 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, drunk, sex