On the beach, how can you recognise a guy who uses an inflatable sex doll? He doesn’t stare at the bikinis, he stares at the beach balls.
I dont understand why people say sex is good in the shower. How do you guys not get your laptop wet?
Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he was stuck in the chicken.
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
When Viagra first came out my wife and I decided to give it a go to see what all the fuss was about. I popped the pill and waited the 15 minutes and then it was on for young and old. We timed the performance to the minute and it all finally subsided at 3 hours and 17 minutes. I asked the missus what she thought and she simply stated that she couldn't understand what all the hype was about for an extra 17 minutes...
Q: Did you hear about the couple that "96ed?" A: After they "69ed" they rolled over and sh*t in each other's hair.
What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called? The man.
Yo' Mama is so fat, you have to slap her thigh and ride the wave in to have sex with her.
Question: If you went to a party and woke up with a condom in your ass would you tell anyone? Answer: No! Response: Wanna go to a party?
Why do men like having sex with the lights on? It makes it easier to put a name to the face.