A beautiful woman sits next to a drunk in a bar. He turns to her and says, ‘Hey, honey. How about you and me getting it on? I’ve got a couple of pounds and it looks like you could use the money.’ The woman turns to him and says, ‘What makes you think I charge by the inch?’
This little kid is walking up the street with his Daddy. They see two dogs going at it. The little kid says "Hey daddy what are those doggies doing?" The father says "Ahh, they're making a puppy." That night the little kid walks in on his mother & father and daddy's on top driving it home to mama! The little kid says "Hey daddy what were you doing with Mommy?" He says "Oh, were making it a baby." The kid say "Turn her over, I want a puppy!"
Yo mama's so fat when she is having sex, her partner doesen't know if it's in her butt or her boobs.
Q: What is the difference between oral and anal sex? A: Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak.
I dont understand why people say sex is good in the shower. How do you guys not get your laptop wet?
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a taxi cab? A: You have to pay to ride in a taxi cab.
Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.
What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? Men always miss them.
Why do men like having sex with the lights on? It makes it easier to put a name to the face.
A woman goes into a noisy launderette and asks the assistant to do a service wash. ‘What?!’ shouts the assistant. ‘Come again?!’ ‘No!’ shouts back the woman. ‘This time it’s mustard!’