If you're under the age of 25 and you think your life sucks then you better brace yourself.... Life has only given you the TIP of its Dildo.
It’s the morning after the honeymoon. The wife says, ‘You know, you’re a really lousy lover.’ The husband replies, ‘How can you possible tell that after only 30 seconds.’
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
Question: Why do women close their eyes during sex? Answer: They can’t stand seeing a man have a good time.
Question master: ‘In the Garden of Eden, what were the first words Eve said to Adam?’ Contestant: ‘Gosh, that’s a hard one!’ Question master: ‘Well done. Two points.’
My girlfriend always laughs during sex – no matter what she’s reading.
Good: Your daughter has got a new job. Bad: As a call girl. Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients. Very ugly: She makes more money than you.
‘I believe that sex between two people is a beautiful experience. Between five it’s fantastic!’ Woody Allen
Why do so many women fake orgasm? Because so many men fake foreplay.
‘Sex for an old guy is a bit like shooting pool with a rope.’ George Burns