The best sex jokes

A wife catches her husband masturbating under the shower and approaches him. The husband: Oh dear, it was so dirty that I had to rub it so hard... it almost hurts!
Vote: has 50.15 % from 81 votes. Send joke:

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A newly-wed couple didn’t know the difference between putty and Vaseline. A week after the marriage all their windows fell out. Which was the least of their worries.
Vote: has 49.99 % from 63 votes. Send joke:

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Question: Why do women close their eyes during sex? Answer: They can’t stand seeing a man have a good time.
Vote: has 49.93 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, sex, time
What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? The man.
Vote: has 49.93 % from 220 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, men
Wife comes back from the doctor and says to her husband: Honey, I have a sad news - a gynecologist told me not have sex for a three weeks... Husband: And what the dentist said?
Vote: has 49.83 % from 87 votes. Send joke:

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Question master: ‘In the Garden of Eden, what were the first words Eve said to Adam?’ Contestant: ‘Gosh, that’s a hard one!’ Question master: ‘Well done. Two points.’
Vote: has 49.83 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

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Good: Your daughter has got a new job. Bad: As a call girl. Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients. Very ugly: She makes more money than you.
Vote: has 49.58 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

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What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.
Vote: has 49.55 % from 69 votes. Send joke:

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My girlfriend always laughs during sex – no matter what she’s reading.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

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How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood? When his hand caught fire.
Vote: has 49.10 % from 77 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex