What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.
Q. How can you tell a head nurse? A. She's the one with the dirty knees!
Why is sex like a game of bridge? You don’t need a partner if you’ve got a good hand.
What do nostalgic gynaecologists do? Look up old friends.
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? "We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"
A wife catches her husband masturbating under the shower and approaches him. The husband: Oh dear, it was so dirty that I had to rub it so hard... it almost hurts!
What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? The man.
Hey! I don't have a mom, me and my dad share yours.
Nigel, a college student is talking to a friend. ‘Y’ know,’ he says. ‘I think my room-mate is queer.’ ‘Why d’you say that?’ asks the student. ‘Well,’ replies Nigel. ‘Every time I kiss him goodnight he shuts his eyes.’
Viagra is like Disneyland; a one hour wait for a 2-minute ride.