The best sex jokes

She’s got her very own method of birth control. She takes her make-up off.
Vote: has 47.49 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stressed the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses would be accepted except illness or a death in the immediate family. A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?" The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
Vote: has 47.48 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, teacher, death, family, sex
Q: What’s so good in f***ing twenty six year olds? A: That they are twenty…
Vote: has 47.36 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, age
What do nostalgic gynaecologists do? Look up old friends.
Vote: has 47.24 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Murphy the bus driver is sitting in his cab when his supervisor comes along. ‘Hello, Murphy,’ he says. ‘What time did you pull out this morning?’ ‘I didn’t,’ replies Murphy. ‘And I’ve been worrying about it all day.’
Vote: has 47.06 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Q. Why don't little girls fart? A. Because they don't get assholes until they're married.
Vote: has 46.99 % from 86 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, fart, marriage
Men, don’t buy expensive ‘ribbed’ condoms; buy an ordinary one and slip in a handful of frozen peas.
Vote: has 46.90 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
What happened when the chef got his hand caught in the dishwasher? They both got fired.
Vote: has 46.63 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Q. Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian shoe? A. They're called Dikes. They have an extra long tongue and only take one finger to get off!
Vote: has 46.63 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, lesbian
Q. What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde? A. The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?" The nympho says, "Are you done already?" The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."
Vote: has 46.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, sex