The best sex jokes

Q. What's the definition of a Yankee? A. Same thing as a ''quickie'', only you do it yourself.
Vote: has 44.47 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

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Why do so many women fake orgasm? Because so many men fake foreplay.
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, sex, women
Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep? A: When the big hand touches the small one.
Vote: has 44.13 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dirty, kids, sex
A man limps into a bar with a cane and alligator. The bartender stops him and says "Hold on a second here - you can't bring that animal in here, they aren't allowed!" So the man says, "But my gator here does a really cool trick..." The bartender says "Well then, lets see!" So the man whips out his dick and shoves it in the gators mouth. He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the head with it. A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when he pulls out his dick without a single scratch. He looks around at the crowd and says, "Does anyone else want to try?" An old lady raises her hand and says..."Sure, but don't hit me with that stick."
Vote: has 43.90 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, animal, sex
Man to vicar: ‘Do you approve of sex before marriage?’ Vicar: ‘Not if it delays the service.’
Vote: has 43.40 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What have condoms and tires in common? A: Good year.
Vote: has 43.39 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

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Well, you know what they say: unlucky in love, get the clap.
Vote: has 43.39 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

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Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
Vote: has 43.26 % from 74 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, women, sex
Q: What does a blond man do at 03.00 in the night naked at the balcony? A: The blond girl told him to come outside
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, time, sex
Two old men hobble into the pub. One says, ‘I’ve heard Guinness puts lead in your pencil. Shall we try some?’ ‘All right,’ says the other. ‘But, to be honest, I’ve got nobody to write to.’
Vote: has 42.26 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex