Got my wife a dildo and some shoes for her birthday.
If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuck herself.
How can you get AIDS from a toilet seat?
By sitting down before the last guy gets up.
Man walks over to a lady in a bar and asks "whats your name ?"
"Carmen" she replies,... "I like cars and men ! Whats yours ?"
The man looks her up and down and sayes "Beerpussy ..."
"Grandma, in the greengrocery they have that thick and that long cucumber."
Deaf grandma answers,"be sure he'll also marry you."
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
I've accepted every email offer I've ever received.
My penis is now 235 feet long.
Vote:
Q: Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week?
A: Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!
In an elementary school, the teacher gives school work to the class.
Everybody writes except little John.
The teacher asks him: John, why aren’t you writing?
I’m exhausted because of sex.
That should not be a problem, write with your left hand.
If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
A woman goes into a noisy launderette and asks the assistant to do a service wash.
‘What?!’ shouts the assistant.
‘Come again?!’
‘No!’ shouts back the woman.
‘This time it’s mustard!’