The best sex jokes

‘I’m a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping Tom booing me.’ Rodney Dangerfield
Vote: has 42.19 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Valentines Slogans 10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk, But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk. 9. Our love will never become cold and hollow, Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow. 8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store, In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore. 7. This feels so good, it feels so right, I just wish it wasn't $250 a night. 6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class, Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass. 5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished, But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!! 4. Through all the things that came to pass, Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass. 3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie, I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty". 2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny, So right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny! 1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister. You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!
Vote: has 42.03 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, Valentines day, money, love, sex
What do you say to a virgin? Thanks for nothing!
Vote: has 41.30 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, sex
While making love, he says: Darling, let's do 68! 68??? What's that? You do it to me and I'll owe you one.
Vote: has 41.22 % from 271 votes. Send joke:

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The vicar never entertained lewd thoughts – they always entertained him.
Vote: has 40.67 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

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Why don’t women blink during foreplay? They don’t have time.
Vote: has 40.53 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

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Man, to woman, ‘Do you want sex?’ Woman, ‘Your place or mine?’ Man, ‘Well, if you’re going to argue. Forget it.’
Vote: has 40.50 % from 101 votes. Send joke:

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One day Pepito was having a shower with his father when he saw his fathers penis. He asked his father what it was and his father replied "this is my racing car". The next night Pepito heard moaning in his parents room, being curious he peeped in to see what was happening. He then saw his father on top of his mother, while looking his father saw him and told him to go to his room. "OK, but I'm not sure you're driving that racing car properly" replied Pepito.
Vote: has 40.39 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, car, sex, driving
How can you tell if your girlfriend’s frigid? When you open her legs, the lights go on.
Vote: has 40.31 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Did you hear about the transvestite who wanted a night on the town? He wanted to eat, drink and be Mary.
Vote: has 40.24 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex