How can you tell if your girlfriend’s frigid? When you open her legs, the lights go on.
What’s the definition of a Yankee? Same thing as a ‘quickie’ but you do it yourself.
‘I’m a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping Tom booing me.’ Rodney Dangerfield
‘Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.’ Rodney Dangerfield
Why don’t women blink during foreplay? They don’t have time.
What is the difference between a joystick and a man's d**k? A joystick does its job.
What do you say to a virgin? Thanks for nothing!
How do you know when your cat’s finished cleaning himself? He’s smoking a cigarette.
Monday – a very, very, good day! The leader’s daughter lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her. Tuesday – a very, very, good day! The leader's wife lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her. Wednesday – a very, very, very, very, very, very, bad day! ... I lost! … Now they're looking for me.
How do you know if your wife wears tights in bed? Her toes curl up when you screw her.