A Yankee from Chicago and a Texan were talking.
The Yankee said, "sex is so easy where I'm from we just walk up and stick it in."
The Texan said, "where I'm from we stick it in and walk up."
A furniture store keeps calling me.
But all I wanted was one night stand.
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
Why are guys like microwavable meals?
They’re both done in 30 seconds.
Once a blonde wanted to go to her boyfriend's home.
Her mom advised her: "My sweet whenever your boy friend wanted to touch your pants tell him there is a hot oven so your hand will burn."
Next day her mom asked her daughter: "Had you a good day?"
The blonde answered: "It was the best day in my life because when my boyfriend touched my pants I told him: 'There is a hot oven and your hand would damage!' But he urged me that I've one hot dog and I wanna to cook it for several times he put his hot dog in my pants and then he put it in my mouth for confident whether it has been cooked or not."
Q:Why do women like to have sex with the lights off?
A:They can't stand to see a man have a good time!
I just had an argument with a girl I know.
She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut.
So in response, I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key.
But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock.
That shut her up.
What happens when a dwarf runs between a girls legs?
He gets a clit around the head and a flap on the face.
Man to woman: ‘Tell me, after having sex do you ever smoke?’
Woman: ‘I’ve never looked.’
Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity?
A: The crayons are still sticky.
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