The best sex jokes

A man who recently had a sex-change operation was talking to his former buddies at work about the operation. "Was it painful?" someone asked. "Well,"she said. "There was one part that was extremely painful." "I bet I know what part was so painful," someone else said. "I bet it was when they cut off your balls," they said. "No," she said. "I was heavily sedated and didn't feel a thing." "Then it must have been when they cut off your pecker," another person offered. "No," she said. "I was sedated then too, and didn't feel anything." "Then what part of the operation was so painful?" They wanted to know. "Well," she said. "After they were done cutting, they stuck a straw in my ear and sucked out half of my brains."
Vote: has 39.12 % from 116 votes. Send joke:

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How do you know if your wife wears tights in bed? Her toes curl up when you screw her.
Vote: has 38.74 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

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Did you hear about the new contraceptive pill for men? You put it in your shoe and it makes you limp.
Vote: has 38.74 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

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How do you know when your cat’s finished cleaning himself? He’s smoking a cigarette.
Vote: has 38.49 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

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Two condoms are walking down the street when they walk by a gay bar. One condom says to the other, "Hey man, you wanna get shit-faced?"
Vote: has 38.07 % from 81 votes. Send joke:

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I tried some of that aphrodisiac rhino horn and it really worked. I’m really beginning to fancy those rhinos now.
Vote: has 37.68 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

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‘He had ambitions at one time to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.’ Les Dawson
Vote: has 37.60 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

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In bed my girlfriend used to mentally dress me.
Vote: has 37.45 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

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There's something actionable in your pants.
Vote: has 37.45 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? A: Ask your mom.
Vote: has 37.20 % from 107 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, ugly, baby