The best sex jokes

My wife is so kinky, when she was born, the doctor slapped her bottom to make her cry, and she said "Don't forget to pull my hair" I accidentally swallowed some WhiteOut last night. Woke up with a massive correction.
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More jokes about: sex, doctor, wife
I’m not cheap, but I am on special this week.
Vote: has 24.64 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

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Jones aside. ‘You’re in perfect health,’ he says. ‘Your wife didn’t give me an erection, either.’
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Men are like vacations – they never seem to be long enough.
Vote: has 24.56 % from 207 votes. Send joke:

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‘I recently sold the rights of my love life to Parker brothers, they’re going to turn it into a game.’ Woody Allen
Vote: has 24.50 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
Vote: has 24.44 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

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Man cannot live on bread alone – he needs a bit of crumpet too.
Vote: has 24.43 % from 70 votes. Send joke:

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Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay? A. They don't have time.
Vote: has 24.11 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, time, women, sex
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
Vote: has 23.11 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: desert island, death, women, sex, disgusting
My girlfriend used to fake foreplay. A man falls asleep on a beach and gets severe sunburn. He’s rushed to hospital by his wife
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More jokes about: sex