Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss.
Mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day. What do single guys have? Palm Sunday.
Two old people flirt at a seniors' singles bar. After a few drinks, the old man asks the old woman, "If I took you out for a full night of wining, dining and dancing, what would you wear?" The old woman replies shyly, "Depends..." "Depends on what?" he asks. "On my bottom - where else?!"
Q: What's the worst thing about being lonely? A: Playing Frisbee.
Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? A. They're married.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.
5 stages of being single: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, texting your ex something random then going like "sorry wrong message".
Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.
1 ...... 2