Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house?
A: The big hand touches the little one.
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When Chuck Norris plays dodge ball... the balls dodge him.
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Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics?
He had it bronzed.
Q: What is the difference between Cheerios and Georgia Tech?
A: Cheerios belong in a bowl.
In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft.
In today’s civilized society, it is called golf.
A black family of four, hears about a magical river that can turn them white if they swim across so they go and the dad and mom swim across, and they come out white, the daughter jumps in and swims across and she turn white, so the son trys to swim but the current takes him and the little girl goes up to dad and says, "Daddy, daddy, Philip just got taken by the current" and the dad says,
"Oh, forget that nigga."
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Q: What did the basketball say when he got deflated?
A: "Oh balls."
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Twenty teams in the league and you are in the last place?
Well, it could have been worse.
How?
There could have been more teams in the league!
Yo mama's so skinny, she used a needle for a baseball bat.
One day Stan comes home from a hard day at work.
He sees his wife bending down to clean the floor under the sofa.
So Stan goes over to his wife and starts fucking her from behind.
After he finishes, he gives her a hard smack to the head.
His wife yells, ''What was that for!?''
To which Stan replies, ''That's for not checking to see who it was.''