Coach: Your roommate and the captain of the team reported that you have many bad words for me in your sleep!
So do you abuse me in your sleep!
Football Player: Coach, It is just not true!
Coach: What is not true, I trust the captain and I am asking this in front of him!
Football player: Coach, It is untrue that I was sleeping!
A man arrives at the Pearly Gates and St. Peter asks him if he's done any good.
The man says no. So St. Peter asks the man to give an account of his bravery.
The man says, "I was refereeing a match in London between England and Germany.
The score was 0-0 and there was only one more minute of play when I awarded a penalty against England."
"Yes," responds St. Peter, "That was a real act of bravery.
Can you tell me when this took place?"
"Certainly," the man replies.
"About three minutes ago."
Chuck Norris became famous when he coached the American rugby and America won the fifa world cup.
Vote:
A father and his son, Bobby, arrive at the local Rugby match and Dad can't find the tickets.
Dad: "Nip home and see if I left the tickets there."
Bobby: "No probs, Dad."
Half an hour later Bobby returns to his dad who is patiently waiting outside the stadium.
Bobby: "Yep, they're on the kitchen table where you left them."
Q: What do you get if you cross a football team with a flower center?
A: Nottingham forest.
The computer programmer to his son: "Here, I brought you a new basketball."
Son: "Thank you, daddy, but where is the user's guide?"
Vote:
"Football is a game when 22 big, strong players run around like crazy for two hours while 50,000 people who really need the exercise sit in the stands and watch them."
Q: What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
A: "Look! They spelled MACY's wrong!"
Vote:
Chuck Norris can run a full marathon in just 3 miles.
Vote:
Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.
Vote: