Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
A teacher asks her students if they're Yankees fans. All of the hands go up except for one student. "Okay, Bobby. What team are you a fan of?" "The Red Sox." "Why's that?" "Well, my parents are both Red Sox fans, so I'm a Red Sox fan too." "That's not a good answer, Bobby. If your parents were both morons, would you be a moron too?" "No, that would make me a Yankees fan!"
Why did the football coach go to the bank? "To get his Quarter back."
Bill Gates arrives at the port to heaven and hell. Petrus says: You see Bill, we don't know what to do with you. You may choose "heaven" or "hell". Bill peeks in heaven and sees a couple of old boring men sitting around at a table. Bill takes a look in hell and sees really beautiful women, sex, drugs, rock and roll, and most of all, gambling. So Bill says : I am a gambling man, I want to go to hell! Once in hell, Bill is immediately thrown into the fire. So Bill says : hey, what the hell is this, I saw all the gambling, the women, and sex? The devil says: 'That was just a demo version."
Golfer: "Well caddy, do you like my game?" Caddy: "Very good, sir! But personally I prefer golf."
The hardest thing about prizefighting is picking up your teeth wearing a boxing glove.
There was a terrible tragedy concerning the local ice hockey team. They drowned during spring training.
They presented him with a cup when he was a boxer. It was to keep his teeth in.
Golf was once a rich man’s sport, but now it has millions of poor players.
I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.