It's the 7th game of the Stanley Cup Finals. At the beginning of the game, a guy sits down in his seat and notices an empty seat and another gentleman next to him. "Can you believe it?" the man says to the gentleman, "It's game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals and there is actually an empty seat! What's up with that I wonder!" The gentleman speaks up and says, "Well, you see the seat belonged to my wife. We went to the games together." "Where is your wife? The man asks cautiously. "She passed away," said the gentleman. "Oh, I'm sorry, you could not get anyone else to come to the game with you?" said the man. Said the gentleman with a slight smirk "No, they're all at the funeral."
Bill Gates arrives at the port to heaven and hell. Petrus says: You see Bill, we don't know what to do with you. You may choose "heaven" or "hell". Bill peeks in heaven and sees a couple of old boring men sitting around at a table. Bill takes a look in hell and sees really beautiful women, sex, drugs, rock and roll, and most of all, gambling. So Bill says : I am a gambling man, I want to go to hell! Once in hell, Bill is immediately thrown into the fire. So Bill says : hey, what the hell is this, I saw all the gambling, the women, and sex? The devil says: 'That was just a demo version."
Golfer: "Well caddy, do you like my game?" Caddy: "Very good, sir! But personally I prefer golf."
The hardest thing about prizefighting is picking up your teeth wearing a boxing glove.
There was a terrible tragedy concerning the local ice hockey team. They drowned during spring training.
They presented him with a cup when he was a boxer. It was to keep his teeth in.
Golf was once a rich man’s sport, but now it has millions of poor players.
I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.
What do you get if you cross a football team and an ice cream? Aston Vanilla.
What’s the hardest thing about learning to ice skate? The ice.