Why did the man keep doing the backstroke? He’d just had lunch and didn’t want to swim on a full stomach!
What is the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? "When a golfer lies he doesn't have to bring anything home to prove it!
A boxer is whining to the doctor that he can’t sleep. I won’t give you any drugs, you don’t need any. Use the classical method, the one with counting the sheep’s. I tried. But, every time I get to 9 I jump off the bed.
The man says, "Will you buy booze?" The bum says, "No." The man says, "Will you gamble it away?" The bum says, "No." So the man says, "Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?"
A man takes a beautiful blonde to his apartment. They're kissing in the elevator when she feels something in his pocket. "What is that?" she asks. "Those are my golf balls." "Is that like tennis elbow?"
Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind.
There’s no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies.
What’s the hardest thing about learning to ice skate? The ice.
After 8 rounds the boxer comes back in his corner, extremely grinded. The couch says to him: You should better take a decision! You want the champion title or the Nobel for peace...
Our new midfielder cost ten million. I call him our wonder player. How come? Every time he plays I wonder “why the fuck did I bothered to buy him”!