Why is there no mexican olympics? Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim is already across the boarder.
While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
Why are black people so good at Basketball? Cause all you have to do is RUN, SHOOT and STEAL.
Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!
Q: How is the Easter Bunny like Michael Jordan? ´ A: They're both famous for stuffing baskets!
Q: What do you get when you combine a Starbucks and Yoga class? A: I don't know, but there's probably a hipster close by.
A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice. When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: “There are no fish in there”. So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there. So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there. So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her. “How do you know there are no fish there?” asks the blonde. So the man cooly says “Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you’re going to have to pay for those holes.”
Chuck Norris once went sky diving, he did not use a parachute. The spot he landed on is now known as the Grand Canyon.
Yo' mama so fat, people exercise by doing laps 'round her!