While giving a physical, a doctor notices that his patient’s shins are covered in dark, savage bruises. ‘Tell me,’ says the doctor. ‘Do you play hockey or soccer?’ ‘No,’ said the man. ‘But my wife and I play bridge.’
Did you hear about the small golf course? You don’t have to shout ‘Fore!’, only ‘two and a half’.
What do you call an elephant that lies across the middle of a tennis court? Annette!
"I felt a lump in my mouth as the ball went in." - Terry Venables.
I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley.. She said "Tenpin?" I said, "No, permanent."
Mrs. Williams: Ok kids let's play soccer SMACK! Anna:OW! Mrs. Williams: What happened Anna? Anna: Andy punched me! Mrs. Williams : Why did you punch Anna,Andy? Andy: You said let's play sock her, so I did.
Football match Romania – Russia. Romania wins and receives a telegram from Russia: “You’ve won! Stop. Congratulations! Stop. Oil! Stop. Gas! Stop...
A couple of Yogi Berra's team mates on the Yankees ball club swear that one night the stocky catcher was horrified to see a baby toppling off the roof of a cottage across the way from him. Yogi dashed over and made a miraculous catch - but then force of habit proved too much for him. He straightened up and threw the baby to second base.
What’s the difference between England and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer. Basketball
How about we march into your red zone and I'll split the uprights? High five!