Two junior doctors were involved in a fight in the hospital. A senior consultant had to pull them apart. "What's all this about?" asked the consultant angrily. "It's the Tax Inspector in C ward," said one. "He's only got 2 days to live." "He had to be told." said the second doctor. "I know," said the first, "but I wanted to be the one to tell him!"
Q: When do Democrats like the idea of a flat tax? A: After it reaches 95%
Q: How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman? AA By his net income.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire? Both of them.
The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
The housing market crashed because Chuck thought he was paying too much property tax.
A blonde walks into a drugstore and purchases a pack of condoms. "That will be $1.08, please," says the clerk. "What are the eight cents for?" asks the blonde. "It says one dollar right here on the packaging." "Tax," replies the clerk. "Gee," says the blonde, "I thought you just rolled them on and they stayed put."
The tax advisor had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for the first time. The little girl was fascinated by the story, especially the part where the pumpkin turns into a golden coach. Suddenly she piped up, "Daddy, when the pumpkin turned into a golden coach, would that be classed as income or a long-term capital gain?"
Q: Why do Republican tax cuts always expire in ten years or less? A: They want to make them thirty but keep running out of fingers.