Q: Who makes the best detective - Sherlock Holmes or a tax accountant? A: The tax accountant - she make's more deductions.
How do you know you have a great CPA? He has a tax loophole named after him.
Q: What do cannibal tax advisors do after their office Christmas Dinner? A: Toast their clients.
Q: What's the difference between death and taxes? A: Congress doesn't meet every year to make death worse.
Q: And the difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion? A: Jail.
Two junior doctors were involved in a fight in the hospital. A senior consultant had to pull them apart. "What's all this about?" asked the consultant angrily. "It's the Tax Inspector in C ward," said one. "He's only got 2 days to live." "He had to be told." said the second doctor. "I know," said the first, "but I wanted to be the one to tell him!"
Q: How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman? AA By his net income.
Q: Why did the cannibal tax auditor get disciplined? A: For buttering up her clients.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whisky. "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it. But if you mean the elixir of a New Year toast, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise."